Divorce Is Not Good for Children

Commentary

In his book “Solid Answers,” James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, wrote: “It is now known that the emotional development in children is directly related to the presence of warm, nurturing, sustained, and continuous interaction with both parents. Anything that interferes with that vital relationship with either mother or father can have lasting consequences for the child.”

Although Dobson wrote those words 30 years ago, they remain true today. He went on to cite research showing that 90 percent of children from divorced homes suffer from an acute sense of shock when their parents separate, with 50 percent feeling rejected and abandoned.

These sad statistics have been proven again by a recent study published by the National Bureau of Economic Research, which tracked a million children of divorce over a 50-year period.

First, children of divorce face economic insecurity, as the average household income after a divorce drops by more than half. This factor puts these children in a disadvantaged position in relation to their peers, as their single parent cannot provide the economic opportunities that other children receive, particularly when it comes to education and socialization activities.

And as a result, because they have fewer opportunities, it affects them later in life, as children of divorce—particularly early divorce—earn 13 percent less by their early 20s.

Because of their feeling of abandonment, children of divorce often seek physical and emotional attachment via unhealthy means. That is why, according to the authors of the study, they have a 60 percent greater chance of teen pregnancy and a higher risk of childhood mortality. And if they do make it to adulthood, 40 percent have a greater risk of serving jail time and a 45 percent higher risk of early death.

Girls seeking the security that comes with a relationship with a father end up looking for, as the song goes, “Love in all the wrong places,” while boys bottle up an internal rage waiting to explode, often in dangerous and deadly ways.

Yet despite these alarming statistics, the media and other so-called experts are whistling in the dark or saying “nothing to see here” as children’s lives continue to be sacrificed on the altar of “self-fulfillment.”

In a piece by Grant Bailey of the Institute for Family Studies, he cited recent articles promoting divorce as a “healthy option,” such as “Divorce Can Be a Radical Self-Love” and “Women are divorcing—and finally finding happiness.”

Evidently, the authors of these pieces did not ask the children of these parents now experiencing “radical self-love” whether they are finding the happiness that their parents supposedly are.

I could go on to cite even more depressing statistics about the devastating effects of divorce on children, but I believe the point has been made. And the bottom line is that all we must do is look at the current state of our nation when it comes to increasing childhood poverty, homelessness, youth violence, and atrocious educational achievement to see the consequences divorce has on our society.

If we are going to solve our current social, political, and economic dysfunction, it is critical that we address the issue of divorce and its effect on children. All the government funding in the world is nothing more than placing a Band-Aid on a severed artery. It may slow the bleeding somewhat, but it never heals the open wound.

So, as Dobson wrote back in 1995, anything that interferes with the vital relationship with either the mother or the father has lasting consequences not just for the child, but also for the child’s future children and for society as a whole, as divorce creates a generational curse that is hard to break.

But the first step of breaking such a curse is acknowledging that it exists, and that is why I am grateful that more and more studies, such as the one published by the National Bureau of Economic Research, are shedding light—and hopefully eventually providing hope—for future generations of children.

Views expressed in this article are the opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Epoch Times.