George Gilder: A Prophetic Voice on the State of the American Male

Commentary

In his book “Men and Marriage” (an expanded edition of his 1973 work “Sexual Suicide”), first published nearly 40 years ago, George Gilder wrote: “The public philosophy of an unmarried male focuses on immediate gratification.

“Men lust, but they don’t know what for; they wander, and lose track of the goal; they fight and compete, but they forget the prize; they spread seed but spurn the seasons of growth; they chase power and glory but miss the meaning of life.”

When Gilder penned those words, the family was breaking down and marriage was being mocked as an “outdated” and “patriarchal” institution by the American left.

And now, as we look at U.S. society in 2025, we see how Gilder’s prophetic words, which received much scorn at the time from radical feminists and intellectual elites, so accurately describe the current sad state of the American male.

We now have a society filled with men more interested in playing video games than making lifelong commitments, one in which they fail to launch and wander around aimlessly without purpose in life or father children without any intention of being responsible for their care after their birth.

And one of the reasons many men are that way is because they grew up with absent or weak fathers and thus had no role model to follow.

Gilder saw this coming, even at a time when men were doing better than they are now. But he looked over the horizon and saw the cultural forces approaching that would derail millions of men.

He knew that the cure for the ailing American male was instilling boys, at an early age, with a purpose. When young men find a purpose in life, they become disciplined and focused. They realize that their lives are not their own. They come to model self-sacrifice and unconditional love to those around them.

Unfortunately, when they do not find a purpose, they are weak in spirit instead of strong, prone to temptation, and out of control in their actions. They also bow to no authority except their own.

And it is not just men who are suffering.

A Wall Street Journal article, titled “American Women Are Giving Up on Marriage,” touches on several reasons why women are not getting married—whether it be trouble finding a suitable man or the choice of a career over marriage.

Disillusioned with what they perceive to be a current lack of suitable and available men, they say they are more content with singleness than their male counterparts. But is this true? Personally, I doubt it.

So often we hear women say, “Where are the good men who have a purpose in life, who want to be successful at work and in the home?” Instead of emotionally mature and stable men, they see men who are stuck in perpetual adolescence because they lack the role model of a biological father to guide them.

So, rather than set themselves up for disappointment, they convince themselves that singleness is the better way to go—a decision that will eventually lead to demographic destruction for our society as people age with fewer children to come alongside and support them in their final years.

All these factors result in “sexual suicide,” as Gilder so aptly labeled it.

As the father of two sons, I have tried to guide my boys to answer three questions: “How do I become a good man?,” “How can I make a lifelong contribution to family and society?,” and “What is my ultimate purpose in life?”

These questions are vitally important. When young men find their purpose in life, they become disciplined and focused. They realize that their lives are not their own. They not only take responsibility for themselves, but also eagerly and gladly accept responsibility for taking care of others.

But when these questions are not asked, we see the result in the number of men who have chosen to play video games instead of working, and to watch pornography instead of engaging in personal interaction. And they have no interest in marriage, but instead seek immediate gratification, as Gilder wrote, rather than lifelong satisfaction—the type of satisfaction that comes from getting married, being faithful, providing for their families, and raising the next generation of children.

It is time for us, as a society, to remind ourselves of the sage wisdom of Gilder and return to a time when men have purpose—to be faithful husbands, loving fathers, and good providers, and, in turn, to instill those values in their sons. Men, women, and our society will be much better off as a result.

Views expressed in this article are the opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Epoch Times.