The Resilience of Marriage

Commentary

In a recent report for the Institute for Family Studies (IFS), the authors wrote: “Marriage is not dead yet. The family revolution that took hold in the second half of the twentieth century appears to be spent.

“Divorce is down, as is single parenthood, and the share of kids being raised in stable married families is ticking up.”

If this is truly the case, and the scholars at IFS go on to cite evidence that it is, this is great news not only for couples but also for children and our entire society.

Other research verifies this good news. A 2021 survey by the Pew Research Center on the views of U.S. adults on single parenting and cohabitation found that 47 percent of U.S. adults say women serving as single parents is not good for society—an increase of 7 percent from a previous survey conducted in 2018.

While 43 percent say it doesn’t make a difference, only 10 percent say single parenting is positive for society. Perhaps the fallout from absent fathers and the toll it has taken on children and our inner cities has been a wake-up call that is making many Americans reconsider the importance of not just getting married but staying married.

For instance, IFS found that the share of first marriages ending in divorce is at the lowest point since the 1950s, with fewer than 20 percent of marriages ending in divorce during the first 15 years, when most divorces happen. This contrasts with 50 percent of first-time marriages in the 1970s, which, for a variety of reasons, became known as the “divorce decade.”

In addition, the number of births to unmarried mothers, which has skyrocketed over the past few decades, is beginning to come back to earth. While it still stands at 40 percent, which sadly is an unacceptable figure, it has ticked down a few points or stalled.

Meanwhile, the percentage of children raised in a married-parent family has gone up by 2 percentage points over the past decade, while the percentage of children living in single-parent homes has decreased by the same margin. Again, not a huge difference, but definitely a step in the right direction.

What is most encouraging is what is happening with black and lower-income children who have borne the brunt of broken homes or no homes at all. While it is true that marriage rates are much higher for educated, affluent, religious, and conservative Americans, the percentage of lower-income families has risen from 38 percent to 42 percent over the past dozen years, while the percentage of black children living with married parents has gone from 33 percent in 2012 to 39 percent in 2024.

But despite this marital sunshine, there are still clouds on the horizon. While marriages are remaining intact—a good thing—marriage rates are down, with a third of young adults likely to never marry, according to IFS, and one in four never having children.

So for now, it is a mixed bag. But there is almost always a lag between positive statistics and a corresponding change in society. It is my hope that the current and upcoming generations of young people, many of whom have experienced the pain of divorce and are wary of marriage as a result, will see how couples are now staying together and honoring their lifelong commitments to each other.

As has been said many times, values are “caught, not taught,” and hopefully succeeding generations will “catch” the importance of marriage—not only for themselves but also for succeeding generations.

What is encouraging is that, after decades of storms battering its foundation, the institution of marriage remains strong and continues to be a cornerstone upon which a healthy society is built.

In 2002, the late social scientist James Q. Wilson said that the U.S. marriage crisis would not be solved “from the top down by government policies, but by personal decisions.” The personal decisions being made today to stay married, rather than opt for an exit via divorce, are what will gradually and positively transform our society and once again make marriage a desired institution for future generations.

Views expressed in this article are the opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Epoch Times.