“In 1994, I began working in the psychiatric ward of a hospital in New York. Adolescents who had experienced traumas such as parents’ divorce or the death of a parent came to my clinic. They felt their world had been shattered, or they suffered from problems such as drug and alcohol addiction, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts,” Lisa Miller, professor of clinical psychology at Columbia University, said in an interview.
Over the past two decades, Miller conducted extensive research that was published in prestigious psychology and psychiatry journals.
“At some point, I began to notice an interesting phenomenon that I didn’t know how to explain—that adolescents and teenagers who had a spiritual foundation, a relationship with something greater than themselves, exhibited a faster recovery than those who lacked the same connection,” she said. “But in 1994, there was not even a single peer-reviewed scientific study on the subject of spirituality in adolescents and teenagers.”
Dina Gordon: Was their spirituality connected to religious belief?
Lisa Miller: “Not necessarily. Their spirituality was connected to a personal, inner sense of appreciation and recognition of a higher power that transcends humans. This is a force that can manifest in different ways for different people. It can be the creator of the world, a divine being, nature, the universe, and more. Some people, when they encounter difficulties, turn to God; others meditate, go for walks in nature, or ask what the higher power wants from them.
“Metaphorically speaking, the adolescents I observed passed through a ‘tunnel of darkness’ of the severe problems they faced, and at the other end of the tunnel, they found light. They arrived at some deep spiritual understanding.”
Gordon: Give me an example.
“Then, one day she came to a session with a sparkle in her eyes and a broad smile. ‘Guess what happened,’ she said excitedly. She recounted that she had met at school a kind and very gentle, considerate boy who had truly touched her heart. The most exciting part, as far as Iliana was concerned, was the boy’s unusual and rare name. He was called ‘Horatio’—which was also her father’s name. ‘You see,” she said. “The boy I met has the same name as my father. That’s a sign. My father sent him to me; it’s a sign that he is still watching over me.’”
From that day on, Iliana’s condition improved rapidly and she emerged from her depression. Miller wrote in her book that Iliana had changed her perspective entirely on her own. She came to the realization, according to Miller, that in the worst and darkest moments, in times of pain and grief, there is a higher power that enables her to receive light and love.
Miller offered another example. There was a young man who wanted to be a doctor and, toward the end of high school, applied to six medical schools.
“He was rejected by all of them, and he became depressed. He felt like a loser. He felt he would never succeed, that he would never be a doctor like his father and mother. One day, as he was walking in the forest he saw a radiant light filtering through the trees and felt a deep unity with nature. That light transformed his thinking; he suddenly felt the presence of a higher power of love and support. He said: ‘In that moment I understood and knew that God has a plan for me, that perhaps I will not be a doctor like my parents but I will be a healer in the way God intended for me.’
“An additional example is of a young woman who was about to marry her high school sweetheart. They had been together for three years and the young man had promised her they would get married. One week before graduation, he broke up with her, and she fell into depression. She told me he had broken her heart. She said she felt ugly, unworthy of love, not good enough. But later, as she sat in synagogue beside her parents and grandparents and everyone suddenly looked at her, she felt their love surround her. And through that love, she felt God’s love and understood she was not alone.”
When Miller began her career as a clinical psychologist, she said there was already scientific evidence of the positive effects of spirituality in adults. Things like higher recovery rates from illness, lower rates of depression and addiction, and longer lives. But there was not a single scientific study on the positive effects of spirituality in children, adolescents, and teenagers.
And so, along with other researchers, she began to examine the effects of spirituality when it came to helping resolve problems common among adolescents and teenagers.
Her peer-reviewed studies found that a strong spiritual core provides significant protection for adolescents, with an approximately 80 percent reduced risk of developing drug addiction, a roughly 70 percent lower risk of girls engaging in casual sexual activity, and a 43 percent reduction in the likelihood of depression in adolescent girls.
Gordon: How do you know that it was spirituality that helped those adolescents, and not character traits such as self-confidence or values they learned at home?
Miller: “In studies of this kind, the subject’s level of spirituality is measured, and character traits such as determination, willpower, generosity, optimism, and emotional resilience are also examined. Spirituality was found to have a great influence than any other character trait.
“We saw that without a solid spiritual foundation, adolescents tend to judge themselves more by their outward achievements, certain skills they possess, or by their physical appearance. They have a stronger tendency to see themselves as a collection of separate parts, some of which they like and some they do not. For example: ‘I’m good at math, I’m not good at sports, I have pimples, I’m not popular, I didn’t make it into college, others are more successful than me.’ Self-judgment, comparison with others, and constant competition can make things very difficult for adolescents.
“By contrast, adolescents with a solid spiritual foundation see themselves as a whole, as a soul with a particular purpose in life. Therefore their entire worldview is different. They may think, ‘All the abilities I have are gifts, and through them I must fulfill the purpose for which I am here.’ The purpose may be to serve other human beings, or to serve God. This is reflected in having the outlook that a difficult day is only a difficult day, or a difficult beginning toward a higher purpose.”
Is Spirituality Innate?
Miller’s research was inspired in part by groundbreaking work done by Kenneth Kendler, a psychiatrist and genetics researcher. In 1997, Kendler and his colleagues published a broad study that examined 1,902 identical and fraternal twins, aged 30 on average, some of whom had grown up together and some apart. One of the revolutionary conclusions of his research was that spirituality is an innate trait passed down through heredity.
Gordon: How can one determine that spirituality is an innate trait?
Miller: “If you compare identical twins who grew up together with twins who grew up separately, you can determine to what degree a particular trait is innate or a result of environmental influence. For example, it was found that IQ is approximately 60 percent an innate trait and 40 percent dependent on environment, while temperament such as introversion or extroversion is 50 percent hereditary and 50 percent dependent on environment. In Kendler’s study, twins were asked about the degree of religious and/or spiritual belief in the environment in which they grew up, and after statistical calculations, it was found that each person has approximately 29 percent spirituality at birth.” Additional studies conducted on twins produced similar results.
The significance of the research, Miller explained, is that the way in which spirituality will develop in a person’s life, or whether it will be expressed at all, depends approximately 70 percent on the environment—parents, the extended family, what is taught in school, the community, the general culture, and the friends with whom one associates.
“Because only approximately one third of the spiritual trait is innate, and approximately two thirds are dependent on environment, the first two decades of a person’s life have a decisive influence on the development and cultivation of spirituality,” Miller said.
Kendler’s research reached an additional conclusion: spirituality and religious belief are two different sets of concepts. Spirituality is a sense of personal connection with God, nature, or some other higher power, while the degree to which a person adheres to a particular religion is a separate experience. Kendler found no significant correlation between spirituality and religious belief; some people are very spiritual and deeply religious, and others are very spiritual with no religious belief.
Miller also found that “spirituality can provide strong protection against drug use, while rigid adherence [to religion] without a sense of sacred connection does not prevent drug use.”
Gordon: If parents have neglected the spirituality of their children, can the gap be bridged during adolescence?
Miller: “Yes, it can. The reason is that adolescence is an age of spiritual awakening. If in the past adolescence was seen only as a turbulent transitional period leading toward sexual, physical, mental, and emotional maturity, it is now understood to also include spiritual awakening, searching, and growth. At this age, existential questions arise for the first time: what is the meaning of life, what is my role in the world, who am I as a separate being, and more. This heightened spiritual awakening that includes searching, deliberation, and doubt, is a window of opportunity for parents to help adolescents establish and strengthen their spiritual core.
“This spiritual awakening during adolescence is universal. In interviews conducted with 6,725 adolescents from eight countries, including the United States, Australia, India, and Cameroon, researchers found a tendency toward growing interest in spirituality, regardless of religion or country of residence.
“Such a spiritual awakening occurs again in mid-life, at around age 45, when one looks back in self examination: ‘Have I fulfilled my role in the world well thus far?’ ‘Am I a good parent?’ ‘Have I made good use of the gifts I received from God?’ and more. Toward the end of life, perhaps around the late 70s, another spiritual awakening takes place.
“If a child reaches adolescence while their parents are in midlife and are also in a phase of heightened spiritual awakening, they can embark together on a journey of spiritual empowerment—to discuss the questions that come up, to understand that ultimately this is a very personal journey, and that each person forges their own path.”
Nurturing Spirituality in Children
Gordon: We’ve talked about the importance of spirituality, as revealed in your research. How can it be cultivated in children so that they are resilient against the storms of adolescence?
Miller: “There are several ways to cultivate it, and all of them are very important. First, parents must express their spiritual experiences in their daily conduct. It is important to show children from a young age that spirituality is a part of life and that there is a spiritual reality. For example, when my mother lit Shabbat candles, she did not rush the ritual or mumble the prayer simply to fulfill an obligation. After all the frantic preparations for Shabbat, she would shift into a very slow, quiet mode, light the candles, and recite the prayer with full intention and a heart full of emotion. Tears of gratitude wet her cheeks as she thanked God, who was present in her life and had given her everything she had. Her entire being radiated the spiritual experience she felt.
“Likewise, parents can invite their children to join them in expressing recognition and appreciation of the higher power in their lives. For example, by inviting their children to take part in prayer, meditation, or a quiet walk in nature, or any other spiritual practice that is present in their lives. A complementary aspect is how they treat other human beings, expressing love or compassion toward them through help and consideration. For example, by cooking for a neighbor who is undergoing difficult medical treatments, or volunteering at a nursing home. It is important for parents to explain to their children how these actions are an expression of recognition and appreciation of the higher power in their lives.
“Another way is for parents to tell children how spirituality is present in their own lives. Explain that the path to discovering spirituality is a journey, and that the adolescents might go through a journey of their own. On that journey there may be ups and downs, struggles and doubts, successes and failures. But they will never be alone; there will always be a presence of a higher power, even if at times they feel truly isolated.”
And finally, Miller mentioned a study, which found that unconditional love and acceptance helps children develop and cultivate their own spirituality.
“The time has come for psychology to treat spirituality as a central component of adolescents’ lives,” Miller said.
“No external success can compare to the importance of spiritual awakening during adolescence, because that awakening builds the internal compass, strengthens our innate capacity for connection with a higher power throughout life, and protects adolescents during a turbulent period in their lives—a period in which there is a greater chance of suicide or falling into depression than being hit by a car or getting COVID-19.”
