Loneliness often results from a perceived lack of connection and can have profound consequences on our physical and emotional health. It’s a problem that, despite our hyperconnected digital world, isn’t going away easily.
I find these five books provide pathways toward deeper emotional connections and, therefore, improved overall well-being.
Focus on Others
A tried-and-true way to make connections is to follow advice in books such as “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. Carnegie points out that people don’t connect with you because you impress them but rather because of how you make them feel. People want to feel heard, valued, and understood. They may not remember every word you’ve said, but they’ll always remember how they felt when they were with you.
Since it was first published in 1936, Dale Carnegie’s all-time classic has been translated into almost every known language and continues to help millions of readers around the world make connections.
‘How to Win friends and Influence People’
By Dale Carnegie
Angus & Robertson, Jan. 1, 1994
Paperback: 304 pages
Act Like a Magician
A more exotic way to make deep connections is to follow the advice from bestselling author Brad Meltzer. His brief book is based on a commencement talk he gave to the 2024 University of Michigan graduating class, where his son was in the audience. Meltzer wants people to think of themselves as magicians and embrace some easy-to-follow tricks that will unleash positive feelings. What a unique way to get a point across!
The “magical” steps that Meltzer advocates are the following:
“Make something appear”: Bring out the best version of yourself, the ultimate version of you, the one that makes you feel the most confident and secure, where you’re fully present and focused. Have someone you trust help to bring out your potential and say they believe you can be that person. This opens up a path that inspires you to become that version of yourself.
“Make something disappear”: Use your fear as fuel to do something you’d rather not do. Don’t let fear hold you back.
“Make two things change places”: Put yourself in another’s shoes.
“Transform one thing into something else“: Embrace continuous change and transformation.
Try Meltzer’s ideas and fill yourself with the “magic of love.” Although geared for graduation, the book is a great gift for any other special occasion.
‘Make Magic: The Book of Inspiration You Didn’t Know You Needed: A Little Self-Help Book of Hope for a Fulfilling Life and a Great Graduation Gift’
By Brad Meltzer
William Morrow, March 4, 2025
Hardcover: 112 pages
Hobbies
Many people fail to realize that by engaging in activities with someone else, they are able to communicate and interact in a different context. This can lead to deeper understanding and connection. Connecting through shared interests creates a common ground.
Archery, basket weaving, board games, book club, cake making, cloud gazing, crossword puzzles, ham radio, jigsaw puzzles, kite flying, mahjong, mural painting, and pet therapy are among the many hobbies mentioned in this book. Because there are so many hobbies mentioned, the chance of finding an enjoyable outlet is high and making connections even better.
‘Get a Hobby: 365 Things to Do for Fun (Not Work!)’
By Jasmine Cho
Union Square & Co., Nov. 5, 2024
Hardcover: 384 pages
Mentorship
An important relationship that offers both participants a deep connection is mentorship. It’s a two-way street; both mentors and mentees benefit from the experience. When mentoring occurs, conversations usually veer into profound topics. These necessarily deepen our understanding of others.
Dana Perino’s interesting book devotes one entire chapter to mentoring. As the founder of Minute Mentoring, a women’s leadership program designed to nurture the next generation of female leaders, she knows a lot about the topic. Her book offers reassurance to young women, but in my opinion can be enjoyed by any age or gender. I’m a senior and I loved the book.
‘I Wish Someone Had Told Me … The Best Advice for Building a Great Career and a Meaningful Life’
By Dana Perino
Harper, April 22, 2025
Hardcover: 304 pages
Being Kind
To me, random acts of kindness are the highest form of connection. Strong bonds can be formed instantly when the people don’t think of themselves but of the others they are helping. The givers’ joy comes from knowing they’ve made a positive impact.
Old and new stories come together in this marvelous collection. This book is heart-warming and inspirational. What a beacon of hope for the world!
‘Random Acts of Kindness Then & Now: The 20th Anniversary of a Simple Idea That Changes Lives’
By M.J. Ryan (Introduction)
Conari Press, Feb. 1, 2013
Paperback: 247 pages
Making deep connections really matters especially in today’s polarized world. Being open enough to truly listen to others is certainly worth the effort.
Linda Wiegenfeld is a retired teacher. She can be reached for comments or suggestions at lwiegenfeld@aol.com
