A man’s home is his castle, the old saying goes. Today, many of us take that statement to the extreme, treating our homes as fortified structures and secluding ourselves from those in neighboring “castles.”
Yet with loneliness rising, we’re missing out on a precious commodity when we ignore those who live closest to us. To help us fight this epidemic, etiquette instructor Bethany Friske offers some practical and easy ways to reach out and welcome our neighbors with charm.
Meet Your Neighbors Early …
Greeting new neighbors early on diminishes their fears and makes them more eager to meet other neighbors, Friske says. “Bring a plate of cookies, bring them a loaf of bread or cupcakes.” Less tangible gifts like your phone number, the offer to loan a cup of sugar, or helpful neighborhood information can also make them feel welcome.
These early meetings reduce later awkwardness if you must approach neighbors about property line issues or other matters.
… And Often
Expand on that initial welcome by bringing treats to your neighbors on holidays, or by hosting them for coffee. Friske also suggests organizing a neighborhood garage sale or hosting a barbecue, having everyone bring his or her own meat to grill. Finally, lending a hand with various tasks, such as storm cleanup, is one way Friske herself has felt welcomed by her neighbors.
Continuing the Conversation
Because neighborhoods can be a melting pot of different viewpoints, Friske suggests preparing conversation starters that are non-political. “Are you local? Were you born and raised here?” is a question that opens an avenue of ways to seek connection and increase understanding of your neighbors, as are questions about what they do for work. “Communication makes people feel really welcomed and valued,” Friske says, particularly when we show interest in their lives.
Curb Appeal
A welcoming nature extends beyond gifts and gatherings, however. Our friendliness should shine forth through our property, Friske explains. “Keep your lawn neatly mowed,” she says, noting that such an action is a kindness to the neighbors and makes you look more approachable. “Having a wreath on the door looks kind of welcoming,” as do flowers planted around the yard. Sharing blooms spreads the welcome to other neighbors and their yards.
Don’t Confine Yourself to the House
“If you don’t get out, you’re not going to make friends,” Friske says. Things as simple as “sitting on the front steps, waving when people go by,” or taking walks enable you to present a friendly, welcoming attitude toward your neighbors. Friske also suggests joining the Turquoise Table movement, setting up a picnic table in your front yard with a sign explaining that its purpose is to give neighbors a place to gather and chat.
This article was originally published in American Essence magazine.
