Movie Review: ‘No Strings Attached’

There was a real danger with No Strings Attached that Natalie Portman would go from Black Swan brilliance to rom-com ugly duckling in one fell swoop. Having the shouty Ashton Kutcher as your perennially irritating co-star is never going to help. But against all odds (and my better judgement) Ivan Reitman’s attempt at genre subversion just about survives on its leading lady’s charm. Plus, any film that opens with Color Me Badd’s ludicrous 90s chart-topper ‘I Wanna Sex You Up’ is a winner in my book. 

A role reversal comedy that doesn’t require the switching of bodies, Portman plays Emma, a young doctor without the time or inclination for a real relationship. Enter stage left, Adam (Kutcher), a jock lothario with whom Emma once shared a tender, soft focus moment when they were kids. Fate ludicrously dictates that they meet and meet again, until the two embark on a “friends with benefits” relationship in which she is the one cutting the strings and he, in typical Kutcher fashion (see the lamentable Valentine’s Day), is the one simpering over a broken heart, unable to suppress the genre trappings that are the growing feelings between them.

No Strings Attached does what it says on the tin. You can tell from the title the inevitability of the outcome, so it’s no spoiler to tell you that strings will eventually become attached. It’s whether tolerating these incredibly good looking people with their seemingly endless amount of disposable cash and nary a bag under the eye from someone that supposedly works in a hospital, is worth it?

To be fair to Kutcher, it’s one of his more likeable performances (The Butterfly Effect being his best), though he’s still a bit of a jerk and you initially question why Emma would want to have anything to do with this vacuous hunk. But there is enough that works when the two are together for you to forget his Punked persona.

Perhaps basking in the glow of her recent triumphs, Portman is afforded more slack when it comes to criticism, simply because she is cuteness personified, and has the unenviable task of playing the pariah of the relationship, the film’s only fleeting stroke of originality.

To recommend a film for being a harmless Friday night date movie might smack of faint praise, but that’s exactly what this is. Some intermittent laughs are guaranteed, a bunch of carrots will have the ladies swooning, and Lake Bell’s hilarious turn as Adam’s twitchy work colleague completely steals the movie from her autopilot co-stars. This is destined to become a companion movie in a triple DVD boxset with 27 Dresses and the far superior How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. And I’d be tempted to buy that.