As I look back over the past 10 years, I can see quite a number of times when I stalled and stopped making progress.
It’s easy to blame a lack of motivation or willpower, but I’ve come to believe that those are just the surface reasons for most of my disappointments.
Underneath my deficit of resolve are a set of beliefs that consistently and predictably sapped my personal energy. Without enthusiasm for the challenging things I wanted to be doing, I defaulted to an easier path, which kept me largely in place.
In taking an inventory of the limiting beliefs that undermined my goals, I found a commonality of self-doubt, perfectionism, and procrastination. No matter your age, your dreams, or your station in life, there is something to be said for throwing off unhelpful notions and embracing a richer, more fruitful way of living.
7 Limiting Beliefs
I hope this reflection on my limiting beliefs and how I’ve learned to reframe them inspires your own journey, wherever you are today.
1. I’m Behind and Need to Catch Up
There is no script for your life, nor any external expectation of where you should be by now. There are no bonus points at the end for being particularly productive or successful. Saying we’re behind is completely an internal metric—a very unhelpful one, in fact. Thinking we’re behind causes us to work with anxiety and stress rather than excitement and optimism, which are far better sources of fuel for our journey.
2. I’ll Start Tomorrow
It’s a mistake to think some other time is the best time to make a positive change or to take action toward something you care about. We tell ourselves we’ll start tomorrow because it’s easier and we love the idea of a clean start, but tomorrow will inevitably feel just like today. The path of wisdom is to create your own motivation by springing into action at the very first opportunity.
3. I’ll Never Stick With It
Any time you’re on a long or uncertain journey, it’s easy to overwhelm yourself by spending too much time looking at the big picture. But we’re not meant to live at such a lofty level of abstraction. Focus on today and what needs to be done. Feel a healthy pride as you tick off items on your list and use it as fuel for the next day’s work. You don’t have to worry about sticking with it for the long haul because your attention is simply on today.
4. I’m Not as Good as Others
Ah, comparison—the thief of joy. When you compare yourself to other people who are ahead of you, it will inevitably devalue, in your own mind, the work and progress you’re making.
Instead of feeling good about yourself for the forward movement you’ve made, you’ll be bitter that you aren’t further along. Unfortunately, this is the perfect recipe for discouragement, ensuring you never get to see what the best version of yourself could have accomplished.
5. I Should Be Doing Something Else
“Should” is a heavyweight word that many of us carry around our whole lives without seriously questioning its value. Of course, there are times we really should do something, and it’s important to do it regardless of how we feel in a particular moment.
However, I’ll argue that these times are less common than most of us believe. Instead of falling back on “shoulds,” try to find the path that aligns most closely with your unique passions, skills, values, and opportunities. That’s really the only thing you should be doing with your life, and it can happen at your own pace.
6. I Need to Think About It Longer
Taking more time to think hits close to home for me as a chronic overthinker. We tell ourselves that the solution to our problems or worries is to think more. We spend more time researching and ruminating on every possible angle of the ordeal, but predictably, we only find ourselves feeling more uncertain about the path forward. Conviction doesn’t grow from more and more planning, but from principled action and firsthand experience.
7. I Have to Get It Right
Fear of failure is one of the great burdens of adulthood. We carry an enormous, unnecessary sense of pressure because we begin an activity believing failure isn’t an option. We think that we have to get it right the first time, or else it’ll never work out, and we’ll be destined for complete failure.
However, so many good fruits can grow out of the soil of trying, not succeeding at first, and correcting course. There’s an enormous freedom and energy to be found in knowing that you are free to look foolish and not have it define you.
There are many aspects of life outside your control. For those, the best you can do is to quickly and decisively come to terms with reality. Thankfully, though, there are many things you can do to improve your life, and among the simplest is to remove your own limiting beliefs. You don’t need anyone’s permission but your own, and with a single, determined choice, you can do it today.