Health Viewpoints
Death is inevitable, though we—and our loved ones—try to ignore it.
Sometimes children or spouses will even push us to get grueling surgeries late in our days to stave off our eventual passage to that next chapter.
But if death is inevitable, there must be a way to face it without fear or regret. That doesn’t mean we should surrender this precious life easily, just that we should prepare for death and give ourselves and our loved ones peace amid loss.
Many Americans make a will. Fewer create any form of advance care planning for medical care. Those facing terminal diseases may find assistance facing their end if they enter hospice care or recruit a death doula to help them navigate the dying process.
But for many, death comes as an afterthought until it becomes their only thought.
They don’t think of important issues they want to resolve, regrets they want to address, or important final words until there is little time—or mental and physical capability—to do anything about them.
2 Missing Key Points
If your current thought is that you will be dead, so what do you care, then you are missing two key points.
The first is that preparing for death will ease your final moments and quite possibly save you from the agony of dying with a heart full of regret, guilt, or bitterness.
The second is that you could leave your loved ones with expenses and avoidable hardship by not taking full ownership of your life—right up until the very end.
Take Your Final Steps Well
For those who have watched the dying process up close, like nurse Sharleen Lucas, there are key lessons in living well that come to urgent clarity in our final days. Read her important series, “Preparing for a Good End” for a fuller picture.
Among her key insights:
Avoid spiritual anguish by finding meaning in your life. It is never too early to start. A good death is about living your final days well. That makes it much easier to find calm acceptance as the end arrives.
Talk about death. People around you may push for aggressive medical care you don’t want. It may be your responsibility to turn the conversation towards how you want to spend your final months.
Take care of the practical matters. These can include medical directives for advance care planning, a will, or personalized funeral arrangements that align most closely with your wishes.
Consider palliative care. This is specialized medical care that aims to keep you living your best life amid sickness. It includes physical, emotional, and spiritual support at any stage of serious illness.
Learn what dying looks like. The body knows how to release the spirit. Most people who die naturally have a calm and contented exit that includes a lack of hunger, thirst, and a gradual cessation of bodily function.
Find peace. In her final article of her series, Ms. Lucas quotes Dr. Ira Byock, a palliative care specialist and author of “The Four Things That Matter Most.”
In our final weeks and hours, four critical sentiments and statements become of utmost importance:
“Please forgive me.”
“I forgive you.”
“Thank you.”
“I love you.”
These crucial sentiments aren’t just for our final moments, however. One might say these are sentiments the wise man or woman expresses throughout their days.
Views expressed in this article are the opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Epoch Times. Epoch Health welcomes professional discussion and friendly debate. To submit an opinion piece, please follow these guidelines and submit through our form here.