Each day of our lives is filled with challenges, opportunities, progress, and setbacks. How we internalize that raw material, make sense of it, and reflect on it greatly influences our personal development.
I’ve always been the type of person who thinks deeply about my life and tries to live intentionally. One downside of this disposition is a tendency to get lost in my thoughts or caught up in circular thinking, in which my brain loops over the same problem again and again.
Of course, that kind of introspection is rarely productive and often leads to stress, which I’ve experienced firsthand. As in so many areas of life, I’ve found that a better approach is to face my self-reflection with a plan—beginning with the outcome in mind.
The Journey of Self-Reflection
As I’ve honed my own reflection process, I’ve discovered a series of questions that are particularly helpful in getting me to think about who I am and who I want to be. You may need to come back to these questions often. You might also benefit from going through this process with a close friend or family member.
These are my eight questions for daily self-reflection. I hope that they inspire you toward more-intentional living.
1. Am I Living According to My Core Values and Beliefs?
We have the ability to draw from a deep well of values and virtues and let those guide our actions rather than react to what life throws our way. This happens only through identifying our values and practicing them regularly until they become a part of who we are.
2. Did I Connect With Something Bigger Than Myself?
It’s easy to get caught up in the stream of everyday life with its tasks, deadlines, and responsibilities while losing sight of the greater purpose of it all. Am I gathering with other believers? As a Christian, these questions remind me of what my faith means to me. These questions can take whatever form aligns with your own beliefs.
3. What Activities Brought Me Genuine Joy?
In the United States, we often measure the value of a day by how much we get done or what we check off our to-do list. Even our choice of hobbies can be driven by some hidden agenda to make us look cool or sophisticated. How often do you stop and ask yourself, “What innocent pleasures of the day did I enjoy?” Every time I watch my children playing, it reminds me of this question.
4. What Feedback or Criticism Did I Receive, and What Should I Make of It?
It may be hard to receive critical feedback at the moment and respond as graciously as we would like, but that doesn’t mean that the learning opportunity has passed. Some of my better moments of self-discovery have happened after I’ve had time to cool off and think about what someone told me. Often, a nugget of wisdom is hidden among their words, even if the delivery was less than helpful.
5. What Did I Learn From Today’s Experiences?
If you’re the curious type, like me, life can be a never-ending source of fascination. One of the best ways to crystallize new knowledge and ensure that it becomes part of your mental model of the world is to pause each day to recount the lessons learned. Sometimes, you’ll have questions, and other days will come with a flood of answers.
6. What Do I Hope to Do Better Tomorrow?
Given the context of your life, this question asks you to consider what you hope to do differently tomorrow. Remember that even a small change can be the start of a longer journey toward your goals or a better version of yourself.
7. What Am I Grateful for Today?
Most of these questions are about self-improvement, which is great, but they also suggest that things are not as they should be. I like to balance this instinct by pushing myself to notice and name the good things in my life. I don’t just do this in passing, I like to meditate on them and appreciate them from as many angles and perspectives as possible.
8. Did I Connect Deeply With Others and Show Them My Love?
Life is hollow without close friends to share it with, but such relationships don’t happen by default—especially not for busy adults. You have to make time to invest in people, express your love, and enjoy each other’s presence. If you’re not doing this on a regular basis, you’ll likely find that all of the personal growth in the world won’t make you a bit happier.