I won’t sugarcoat it: Getting older comes with new challenges and isn’t exactly celebrated in our society.
Thankfully, we all know people who are aging with tremendous grace and, in fact, seem to be becoming better versions of themselves each year. Although you may no longer reach the physical peaks you once did or have the same levels of energy and fluid intelligence that you did in your prime, many aspects of your life can improve as you grow older.
I’m not writing from a place of personal experience. I’m now in my mid-30s and, according to ChatGPT, just a few years away from the median U.S. age of 39. There’s still a lot I hope to learn firsthand.
However, I did join a local gym a year ago that is located in a retirement community. In the warmth of my daily sauna sessions, I’ve met and conversed with many pleasant people in their 70s and 80s. I’m pretty sure that older people who are still going to the gym regularly at that age are aging with grace, and I want to share a few of my observations.
8 Habits of Aging Well
Aging gracefully doesn’t generally happen by accident; it’s the result of living life on purpose. The following habits are ones I’ve learned from the people in my life who are doing just that. People aging gracefully do these things:
1. Keep Their Bodies in Motion
In my experience, happy older people are also active people. They may not be going to the gym, but they are moving their bodies regularly, far more than their peers. If there’s one piece of advice on this list you can’t neglect, it’s probably this one.
2. Maintain Intimacy With Close Friends
I was surprised to learn from my conversations that warm, intimate, and jovial friendships endure as you get older. I’m embarrassed to say that I had a rather naive view that as the passions of youth waned, so did the passion of friendship. That seems to be very far from the truth and is a life goal worth aspiring to.
3. Make Plans for the Future
The most vital older people talk and dream as if they’ll go on living for many more years. I love to hear them talk about the future and share their plans as if time were as abundant as ever. This aspect of their personality keeps them from slowing down and fills them with a vigor that the more “older-seeming” among their peers are missing.
4. Embrace Change and Stay Optimistic
Getting older doesn’t mean that you have to be hopelessly behind the times. Many people I met at the gym were exploring new technologies and staying up to date on the latest developments in health, culture, and current events. I think that more than “staying relevant,” keeping up with the times helps older people continue to feel at home in the world, still part of the scene, and with more to contribute.
5. Accept Their Limitations
Many of the people I’ve met in their 70s and 80s have had ongoing health issues. Not serious ones that completely rule their quality of life, but significant enough to regularly remind them of their aging bodies. Instead of focusing on what they’ve lost, they are generally upbeat, believing that their actions can improve the situation; that’s why they keep showing up at the gym week after week.
6. Let Go of Past Regrets
I like asking my older friends about their lives and how things turned out versus how they expected them to go. Their lives have been filled with many unexpected turns, some positive and some not. They’ve shared things they are proud of and, occasionally, things they wish they had done better, and in those regrets I’ve sensed a true self-compassion. They don’t beat themselves up over what could have been better but are more focused on today and how they’re using their remaining time.
7. Find Ways to Serve Others
As you age, your world shrinks in some natural ways. Generally, your responsibilities are fewer than they were in your prime, and you’ve slowed down a bit in what you can accomplish. Rather than seeing themselves as less useful, the older people I’ve come to admire most find ways to redefine their usefulness in less economic terms. Many of them volunteer their time or invest more deeply in relationships than they could in their younger years.
8. Invest in Younger Relationships
I’m a fairly outgoing guy, but what impresses me most about my group of older friends is how many of them are eager to strike up a conversation with me. I’ve come to believe that aging gracefully means giving yourself a stake in the next generation, even in subtle ways, such as learning to connect with them. In this way, they share their worldly and spiritual lessons with us and, in doing so, play their part in passing along the great wisdom of the ages.